actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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