discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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