You can't motorboat a personality
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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