The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i believe in u and ur pee
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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