just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
