I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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