Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
