hotel room ftw
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
