That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
