It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
