Sponge bath it is.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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