This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
