: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A bitchslap is in order.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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