hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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