if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
