your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
