super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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