a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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