Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
