They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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