I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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