We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
