can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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