just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
