So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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