I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
