Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
