Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We had to coat check the pizza.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
