this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
