Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
