I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
