you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
