She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
