I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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