i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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