I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
