I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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