dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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