I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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