You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
