Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
