my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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