I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
