i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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