just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
