Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
