dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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