I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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