That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
its not stalking. its research.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
