I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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