HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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