Dual....:-)
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
